5 Easy Ways To Fix Eggs During Your Whole 30 Challenge

do you like these eggs I doodled?
Day 29 of the Whole 30 challenge! In some ways I'm surprised I actually went through with it, and in other ways I always knew I could and would. I know I haven't been the absolute best at writing about it as I went along, but I feel there are so many other bloggers who were more on top of this thing than I was. Not every meal was brilliant. I know I drank non-compliant almond milk and fries which weren't in the spirit of the Whole30 challenge (and later found out were "salted" with a mix of sugar and salt. That was my biggest cheat). But I did it! Besides - can anyone ACTUALLY do a perfect Whole 30? I bet someone can, but she isn't me. All nit-picking aside, I did the thing, guys! And it really does feel good. There is nothing better than knowing that you've been taking good care of your bodies, right? In the past I've definitely underrated this, but I'm growing to love it.

Color Theory And The Food World

When humans encounter color, an interesting thing happens. We not only see the color, we feel it. It seems that people attach a significant amount of emotion and feeling to color, which is evident in marketing schemes, power outfits, and even the crayons you most used as a child. There's a reason Captain Hook baked Peter Pan a poison cake and turned it green. Because cake is supposed to be many things, but sickly green? It's not one of them. I feel the same cringing that overtook Tinkerbelle when anyone posts a photo of matcha waffles, grassy smelling and almost comically green. It does not look like something I remotely want to eat and I sometimes wonder...what has happened to the colors in our food palette?

Bring An Emergency Potato (And Other Remarks)

I chose a seat near a window today. Great drifts of snow - sullen and sulky because the air is fifty degrees now and they're gradually down-sizing - are heaped upon the sidewalk. I almost didn't make it to the coffee shop down these back-streets it wasn't in the budget to plow.

When Love Is Silent

Although there are definitely some things on which we blatantly disagree, I sat in my car watching Oprah Winfrey win the Cecil B. DeMille award and listened to her speech and thought, thank you. For her coherency, her heart, and her compassion. For her ability (in this case) to put into words things that needed saying. Sometimes when I write about cooking or entertaining, I wonder if anyone cares. Not you, my readers, but anyone in the wider sense of the world. Does it matter if a person does or does not throw a dinner party? Does it matter if a woman knows how to set a pretty table for her girl gang when in other places in the world, girls are being gang-raped?

Plantain Chips With Lemon Pepper Aioli

Whole 30 comfort food. It's a category, you know. Although a very small, narrow, diminutive category. The world, in South-eastern Virginia, is quiet. "Bomb cyclone," "snowpocalypse," "blizzard." All of them terms for the reason the world hushed when the snow began to fall. Of course it didn't stay quiet - everyone crammed the roads and descended en masse on the grocery store - but once we were all settled in, silence reigned and has held sway ever since. My dad is still out plowing snow, 40-some hours later. The rest of us are solidly stuck where we are. We went out for a walk yesterday and again this morning, trying to read a story in the snow-tracks and succeeded in getting happily chilled. By now the snow on the road has oozed and packed into a solid ice-cake, rendering us pretty much immobile, though we might hazard it in pursuit of coffee later on.

Adjusting to eating the Whole 30 way hasn't been terribly terribly difficult. There were headaches the first couple of days, then cravings ranging from cheesecake to grilled cheese sandwiches, but we survived the snow without defecting! Most of my cravings have arisen from lack of the distinct crunch that belongs to toasted bread, tortilla chips, wheat crackers, and the like. Vegetables are crunchy, potatoes can be crispy, but none of them have the crunch I was looking for. Then I learned about plantain chips.
"Help me, Obi Wan Kenobi, you're our only hope."
I wasn't sure what to expect, having never eaten a plantain, but I went ahead and heated half an inch of precious coconut oil in a pan, sliced the plantain thin, and dropped it in. When the little coins turned to gold and got scooped out, I tossed them with a sprinkle of sea salt and tasted one. Guys, game-changer. They crunched! They actually crunched! Vaguely sweet with the perfect texture and saltiness. Exactly what you crave while eating this way without going entirely off-plan. Sure, plantain chips aren't supposed to make up the majority of your diet here, but it's certainly an ideal Whole 30 treat. When paired up with a homemade lemon-pepper aioli (and a bunless burger with prosciutto and avocado) these plantain chips make for the most amazing, indulgent, satisfying Whole 30 meal you ever did see. Here's to surviving the snow and staying on-track.

Plantain Chips with Lemon Pepper Aioli
serves 4
-for chips-
2 plantains, sliced thin
1 cup coconut oil
sea salt

-for aioli-
1/2 cup Whole 30-approved (or homemade) mayonnaise
1 teaspoon lemon zest
1 Tablespoon fresh lemon juice
salt & pepper to taste
  1. Heat coconut oil in a small, heavy-bottomed saucepan over medium heat until a plantain slice dropped in begins to fry. Add other plantain slices (not too many at a time) and cook until golden. Remove with a slotted spoon, salt, and allow to cool.
  2. Whisk together all ingredients for the aioli till smooth, and serve in a small dish for dipping, or drizzle over the burger!

One Pan Prosciutto Brussels Sprouts Dinner

I'm a foodie, right? I'm fully committed to edible things tasting good, looking good, and actually being good. Like, I'm that person who would rather skip out on her morning coffee than drink Folgers. So the idea of restricting my choices of food seems like an infringement on basic first-world millennial rights